Jun 22, 2011

Summer time: letting all hang out without the hang ups

I could justify my happy relationship with hot weather by blaming on the fact that I grew up under the Equator, but since most of my friends back home would just say I’m nuts for liking the heat so much, I won’t even go there.

I just love the heat; it is part of my own nature. I’ve always loved walking bare feet; I live for the day I can be at a beach, under the hot sun and swimming in some beautiful ocean. That setting has some seriously calming effect on me (yeah I know, on everyone, its called vacation!) it makes me happy, makes me feel sexier, more creative, energetic and flat out GOOD. It’s a whole transformation and I guess a more evident one when you migrate from living under the Equator line all the way to the northern hemisphere of the planet.

Boy do I suffer during the winter… but that’s a whole other blog post.

Summer’s arrival makes me realize how much most women I’m surrounded by (who mostly happened to be big like me) dread wearing a bathing suit. They probably would have an easier time going to a battle ground in Afghanistanthan wearing a bathing suit in public. And you don’t have to tell me the list of reasons for such fear/hate/dislike/no-way-in-hell type of thinking. I could say chances are if you’re a fat girl, you know the ordeal of how terrifying that moment can be. But unfortunately stepping out in your bathing suit seems to be a terrifying ordeal all across the board for women of all sizes (thank you dear media/Hollywood/fashion world!).

But truth been told, when you’re fat that whole experience can turn out quite traumatic and most of us have not been taught to grow that iron clad skin and the careless attitude to endure it without been scarred for life.

When you take those covers off and everything is out there for the world to see, people at the beach often don’t hesitate to stare, almost as if to say “how dare do you think you can be happy with THAT body?”. It’s a sad but true fact and not unlikely to happen.

But that’s what I do. I get to the beach; I take my clothes off and enjoy the sun quite comfortably (SPF30 all the way!) in my bikinis, go for a swim, a walk, catch up with my friends and enjoy my family. I suppose I’m that type who really couldn’t care less about the stares at the sight of my size 18 frame, flaunting all my roundness in my collection of 2 piece bikinis. Yes, you read correctly. I have 2 full drawers of bikinis. I’m quite ok with letting all hang out under the sun, without the hang ups about it. Why shouldn’t I?

Rest assured I’m not alone as a species, occasionally I have come across others like me, flaunting their large body frames featuring cute swimwear at the beaches in various parts of the planet, exposing the same type of behavior and looking pretty unfazed by it too, I may add. Diagnosis, you may ask, is called: ENJOY-LIFE-LET-IT-GO-WHO-CARES!

I’ll try not to get preachy about it (I’m guessing I’m already there…) … life is too danm short to give a flying kite about what people think.

If I had limited myself to do the things I’ve always wanted due to other’s opinion in regards of my body size, I would have not achieved most things I have in my life so far.  And to me that’s just absurd, senseless and flat out unacceptable. Mind you I had a pretty hefty list of things I would not achieve according to others rules. And without even trying, I’ve far surpassed that list.

People will always have their own opinions about things. Most of the times those opinions aren’t the nicest either. Especially when it comes to other peoples looks.

If you’re tall, you’re too tall, if you are short, you’re too short; if your butt is too big you’re fat, if it’s too small if you’re not curvy enough, if you have small boobs you look like a boy but if you have too much you should have a breast reduction. Let’s not even go into cellulites, stretch marks and hair texture. There’s no ending to that list until you say so. I often think that the ones working hard to insert so many insecurities inside women’s minds are often the most bitter and unhappy ones to begin with. After all, misery loves company.

It seems that even though we’re all different and very aware of that, we struggle quite a lot to live with the differences w/o been so bashful and a bitter critic of one another. Everybody is desperately trying to shove themselves inside a uniform mold, like sheep in a heard, lacking the ability to lead for themselves, or have some courage to say “hey, I’m going to be ME and if you don’t like, look the other way”.

By analyzing all that, I have pretty much come to the conclusion at an early stage in my life that it is far easier to endure the stares at my big, fat butt and belly at the beach while wearing my bikinis than to work so hard, waste so much energy and my valuable time trying to be something that I’m not. Because even if you try, you will still endure the negative criticism as the bar is set higher and higher and anything you do is never good enough. And not to state the obvious, but yeah, we will never ALL fit the same mold.

Now, I’m not saying go out there and try to be comfortable wearing a bathing suit, to each it’s own. But what I am saying is that you shouldn’t let life pass by without enjoying the things you particularly want because of your size and because eyes might be staring. Who cares?!!??!?!!! No one is paying your rent girlfriend, so go on, live the life you want. 

So there you have it, I’m that fat chick wearing bikinis at the beach and seriously happy about it. Perhaps because New York City winters have made me realize how awful I look on that pale yellow skin tone but probably and most likely because I’m aware that if I’m not happy under my own skin, no one else will be for me.

Enjoy your summer, I know I will.



1 bikini, zero make up, 100% happiness

1 bikini, zero make up, 100% happiness

Jun 10, 2011

My body is not meant to be HIDDEN. Deal with it.

I’m your typical fiery Leo and as one I suppose a rant would be the ultimate motivator to drag me back to my blog. So bare with me on this rant.

Lucky Magazine big #fail this month. On page 44 the headline for “DEWDROP” also known as “most of us, women with curves” states: ” Your curvy butt and thighs can make skinny jeans a drag. Instead, choose hip-skimming dresses and flashy necklaces that draw the eyes up”.

Now, I personally have an issue with this whole  “slimming” claims, primarily because I find it offensively FALSE, insulting to my intelligence and also… well, lets get to the rest of the whys:

1– I’m a BIG chick, with big curves and that’s that. If you intend to feature a fashion story to curvy plus size women do it right, understand the target you’re aiming to, don’t just slap some half assed quality story for the sake of just doing it. We’re no longer willing or wanting to wear baggy clothes (no, really!), which means we don’t have issues with been FAT like past generations did (you do know that plus size consumers are fat right? No, you’re not selling to sizes 8, 10, sorry to burst your bubble…). Curvy plus sized women today KNOW that they can look elegant, cute or sexy, we have finally learned to be happy with ourselves, for real! We actually like flaunting our curves, this hiding business is OLD, boring and annoying.

 2–Clothes won’t magically make me look as if I’m 4 sizes smaller, that’s just a fact. I don’t know how many times I have said that out loud. In front of cameras. To designers. At events. At photo shoots. Yes, I won’t shut up about it, get it together people, seriously!! Sadly I see that some still perceive women to be 1– too dumb to buy these tag lines or 2– so blindly obsessed with looking thin that any of those key words will make them run to the shop and buy those clothes? Hmm, yeah, might be the combo of both… not me though, thanks.

3–Skinny jeans are not a “drag” to any size as long as they FIT right. In fact if you ask me I find that my big ol’ size 18 butt looks just fine on any pair of the denim you may find in my closet and the word DRAG isn’t really one I would use it to describe it,  if you’re ought to know dear Lucky-stylists-whoever-you-are.

Lastly and most importantly I don’t WANT clothes that promise to ”slim” me, I’m very happy with my PLUS SIZED BODY. I find that tag line offensive…yes, I have said that already…maybe if I repeat enough times people will get it, because I know I’m not alone on this one!

What I really want and enjoy is shopping for clothes that look good on the body I have. Although it might sound astonishing for some, looking GOOD doesn’t necessarily equate to looking THIN/SMALLER to a lot of us plus sized women. Curves aren’t an embarrassment that we need to wear pieces to diguise’em or use accessories to divert peoples attention from noticing my wide hips. They are there and I find no reason to disguise them (I probably wouldn’t be able to even if I tried, LOL).

Ironically enough Lucky Magazine featured on page 40 plus size shops/brands in this very same issue. Perhaps they would have benefited on having a real plus size stylist on board, one that reflects the pride and joy most plus sized women feel TODAY about their looks and not one that puts looks together and tags it with such a negative tone to it. Perhaps they would then know that the women who buy clothes at those brands and shops actually enjoy the way they look.

And if I sound sensitive about the subject it’s because I probably am. You only know the real deal of taking things like this offensive when you have lived under the skin of been a fat girl your whole life. When you grow up hearing everyone around you constantly telling you that “you would look so pretty if you lost weight” or “you should do a diet” or ” don’t wear this, it makes you look fatter”, bla, bla, bla,  then you kinda get tired of stuff like this. My body is not meant to be hidden and I just refuse to do it, so deal with it.

Oh yeah, thanks for popping over, I’m glad to be writing again!



No drag in this size 18 skinny jeans, if you ask me.

No drag in this size 18 skinny jeans, if you ask me.

Nov 16, 2010

Opposites attract?

My husband never fully gets the whole obsession with clothes. Hard to tell if it’s basically a guy thing  or that been married to an engineer makes matters worse. We’re just oil and water in that aspect, my husband really couldn’t be bothered buying a shirt to save his own life!

After our last trip together, I arrived home, opened  my closet to find one of the hanging rods split in half. It literally gave in to the sheer amount of stuff I have. Needless to say the look on his face was priceless. I read “amusing”, while he really intended to say “STOP SHOPPING!”. Wait, he did actually said out loud. Which made me laugh even harder.

So since I started the blog, I’ve been asking him to take pictures of my favorite outfits and he’s kind of getting the hang of things. Read “KIND OF”. lol. Well,  he gets as much as one could expect from a guy who couldn’t care less about clothes, fashion and all that jazz.

When I was packing to come back to Europe, I liked putting these outfits, I asked him to snap some shots for me.

Not sure if I can expect his creative side to flourish at this stage or enough to do this often, but nevertheless I love him to bits.

Love you Aussie!

Oh yeah!!! (back from the mooshy world of been in love! lol) … my outfits are very spur of the moment type of thing. I just do whatever feels right for me that day. I don’t follow any particular rule, I just keep putting things on and off till I find something that looks right to me.

I’ve been really into pattern tights this Fall. I also love tribal prints and accessories. I have a ton of African necklaces and bracelets and I use them a lot.

The idea of oversize pieces used to put me off. I like it now, but I had to try it to see how it worked for me. I usually wear more just tops (read JUST, not TIGHT!) since I’m smaller on top and loose bottoms. I’ve been giving it a shot more often now.

Can't remember where I got the skirt. The oversized top is from H&M, the shoes I bought in Germany and the necklace I bought in South Africa.

 I never considered the thought of doing heels with socks until I was styled for a photo shoot that way and I fell in love with it! I’ve been wearing it a lot.

LBD I got in Brasil, the cardigan is from H&M and the shoes are Kenneth Cole. The bag is from South Africa, it's made from food bags.

 This season neutrals are everywhere and I got into it. For me it’s a big change, I really love colors and loud prints. This top is probably the only thing I own that has a bow on it, I just liked it. Jessica Simpson goes up to XL, I was surprised!

Thats actually a dress. I just put this Jessica Simpson top over it. The boots and sunglasses are from TopShop.

Nov 15, 2010

L.A FFFwkend

It’s been a few days since LA fffweek has taken place, and although I have returned to my normal routine ( which isn’t really normal, lol) I can’t even beggin to describe how amazing the whole experience was for me.

When the amazing Sharon Quinn had invited me to participate of the aspiring models panel during the New York fffweek, while I was incredibly honored, my chaotic schedule didn’t allow me to make it . So when the opportunity came up to be part of the same panel in Los Angeles, I jumped right in!

It was a stylish get together, if you ask me. Between designers, bloggers, stylists and models, I had the chance to meet an incredible amount of stunning, smart, hard working and super talented women. Meeting and hanging out with women who invest their precious time towards positive things is truly inspiring to me.

For me this was also a good break from work. Most evenings during my four days in L.A I shared a glass of wine around the fire (literally!) with many of my favourite fashion bloggers and fellow models. Needless to say we had endless chats about fashion and exchanged ideas and opinions just about everything between clothes, shoes, travel, cooking and our daily lives.

I really enjoyed the whole event and truly hope there will be many other events like this more often.

Here are some of my highlight shots…

My dear friend Madeline Jones and I. She's a true inspiration to me as the hard working woman behind the amazing PlusModelMagazine.


at the opening night I wore a vintage silk blouse and the velvet black skirt I had it made.

My outfit for the panel day. I got that faux leather jacket in Spain, the skirt is a find from a thrift shop and the silk top is from Forever 21.

For the fashion show evening I wore my Donna Karan dress, faux leather jacket embelished with a few of my vintage broaches.

 Pictures of my looks were taken by my very stylish friend Nicolette Manson. Check her blog out, it’s well worth it!


Love hanging out with the girls!

Nov 2, 2010

Paris, oh charming Paris…

Everytime I’m in Paris I feel like as if I’m in a movie, a wonderful, fabulous fashion movie. Ok, so we know Parisian women have it, seems like they have it without trying too, which is what makes us all a tad envious ( makes me, at least! ).  Anywhere I go in Paris I never get tired of watching women dressed so well. It truly inspires me to put my closet to a good work out, combining pieces, mixing styles, pulling that red lipstick out of retirement (red lipstick scares my clumsiness!).

I must mention too that I’ve always had the “overpacking” desease. It’s a personal phobia I have of losing my suitcase and not only not been able to find clothes my size at my final destination but also clothes at the level I like, am used to and am pretty demanding with/of etc… It has happened before and I don’t ever recall feeling so aweful during a trip since then.

So I challeged myself to actually pack light (God! It was difficult!!) and try to combine the same pieces with a different twist. This is what I came up with. (I do wish I had pics of all my outfits, these are just some of them). I didn’t do too bad, although sometimes I felt like screaming in total panic that I couldn’t pull a different combo, but I managed. I think. LOL

Here were some of my outfits during my last Paris visit:

the day it rained, it poured

look 1: Since it was a rainy day and I was planning on visiting a few museums, I wanted to be confortable.

Trench coat is by Jean Paul Gaultier for Target, black long sleeve is by Dorothy Perkins, leggings by Biluzik, shoes by Zara.

my girlie look.......

look 2: Feeling too romantic, thx Paris!Dress, oversized cardigan and shoes by H&M

out for dinner.....

look 3: Got a chance to see my friends and hang out at my favorite neighborhood (where I always stay while in Paris!) Montmartre.Oversized cardigan by H&M, grey silk blouse by Forever 21, jeans by City Chic, shoes by H&M.

ready for meetings....

 look 4:  I had a few meetings with clients and wanted something practical and fun.

Blazer by H&M (their size 16 is pretty generous!) t-shirt by Forever 21, leggings by Biluzik, shoes by H&M.

night out....

look 5: I lucky to have my husband in Paris at the same time as I was there, so we enjoyed a few romantic evenings together…

The wrap dress is by Forever 21 and the boots are by Zara.

Nov 2, 2010


I’ve  contemplated for a while the idea of writing a blog, but I seriously had to come to terms with the fact that I simply don’t have time. If I can’t keep consistency, it just doesn’t feel right to me. I guess I also wasn’t sure what I’d write about to be honest. I love doing many things but it has taken me a while to figure which ones would really capture me enough to motivate me to write about.

Modeling has been taking me to so many different places in this world, and I have seriously rediscovered a whole new person in me as I travel. Especially in the aspect of style. People used to tell me that traveling changes you a lot, I just had no idea how much really.
Fashion and photography would come very naturally as one would imagine doing what I do for a living. So shopping for me has gone from one experience to another all together, and it just keeps mutating as a go. My style has changed, the way I buy things, the reasons why I buy them and so on… observing and learning about all this in my own experiences has given me  movitation to attempt to write and post again. I’m not certain how much of a consistency I’ll be able to maintain, but I’ve made peace with that.
So I dug far and deep and reopened this blog, which I had started to write ages ago and eventually abandoned.  Picking it up from where I left I decided to write about my favorite things… my love for fashion, photography, travel and all the in between bits and pieces.
I’ll share my shopping adventures during my travels,  with my beautiful friends and just about anything that comes along my way.
Soooooooo….. Off I go.



Im on my way... by Fluvia Lacerda

Follow me on Twitter

Check out my videos: